How To Build Resilience ft. Lil' Homerepairs

I think our house is trying to gaslight us.

First it flirted with a buyer, got them to commit, and then had them back out at the eleventh hour. Classic hot/cold behavior. Then it casually revealed some light structural issues like, “Oh, you wanted all the walls to be upright?”

We’re now staring down the barrel of renovations that could chew through a good chunk of our profit — assuming we can even sell the thing. Which, at this rate, we’re considering listing under Haunted or Possessed (Seller Uncertain).

This isn’t a sob story. We have buffer. Financial, emotional, relational. But it’s still a stress test. A slow-burn, “What fresh hell is this?” kind of stretch in life. This might be the hardest season we’ll ever face… short of the inevitable, tragic stuff that comes for all of us much later in life (hopefully).

I say that not to be melodramatic but to make a point: you don’t get stronger in easy times.

Nobody builds calluses by petting a dog.

I used to think resilience was some kind of character trait. Like eye color or being able to eat an entire pizza without remorse. But it’s not. Resilience is earned. Sharpened in real time while you're duct-taping your way through mini-crises.

As Alex Hormozi says: “You don’t become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror… but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are.”

It’s really hard to collect that proof when everything is going great.

These past few weeks have felt like a rocky montage for resilience. Except instead of inspirational music, it’s just a loop of me reloading Realtor.ca while muttering “Jesus take the drywall.”

It’s been frustrating and expensive and messy. But weirdly? Also kind of empowering. Every time we patch a problem, survive another unexpected bill or keep our cool when things go sideways — we’re adding to the stack. Not the financial one, unfortunately. But the internal one. The one labeled: Undeniable Proof I Can Handle Hard Shit.

A quick note on buffer.

Buffer doesn’t just mean having savings or a paid-off car. It’s also:

• A strong marriage that can absorb tension without combusting.

• A support system that texts “You good?” before you even ask.

• A healthy relationship with your inner voice so you don’t spiral into existential dread every time there is a little water in the basement.

Buffer means you don’t multiply by zero. Even when things go wrong, they don’t wipe you out. If you're new here and haven’t read my “Don’t Multiply by Zero” piece, go do that — it's a solid math lesson and I promise it doesn't involve graphing a parabola.

Look, I’m not about to pretend that every tough situation is a gift. Most of them suck.

But the goal isn’t to avoid difficulty forever — it’s to get faster at reframing it.

Less: “This is awful. Why is this happening to me?”

More: “This sucks, but next time I’ll be ready.”

Every hard thing becomes a tool you can use again.

So here’s your reminder: Hard things aren’t punishment. They’re practice.

And resilience? It’s just your stack of undeniable proof… built one joist crack at a time.

Words I Wish I Wrote

Links & Learnings

• The 5 Ways To Spend Money.

• When intelligent people affiliate themselves to ideology, their intellect ceases to guard against wishful thinking, and instead begins to fortify it, causing them to inadvertently mastermind their own delusion, and to very cleverly become stupid. (source)

• Men’s long-term desirability is influenced by their intention for fatherhood.
 A study was conducted to determine conditions that modify a man’s desirability.
267 women evaluated men depicted in silhouetted images who varied in terms of their intentions for fatherhood and relationship history.
 Results showed that a man’s desirability as a long term mate was enhanced if he wished to become a father, and/or if he had a previous relationship experience, indicating he had been formerly chosen or preferred. (source)

Psst… DSTLLD has a podcast now, too. I know — like the world needs another podcast, right? But here’s the thing: if you can tolerate my written rambles, you’ll probably find my in-person yammering… well, moderately tolerable. It’s basically me and a guest chatting about the same offbeat stuff you read here, except now you get to hear me stumble over big words in real time. I’m not saying it’s the greatest thing in the universe (trust me, I’ve listened to it), but if you like DSTLLD, there’s a good chance you won’t hate it. Win-win! Subscribe or follow on your favourite podcast platform:

• Youtube

• Spotify

• Apple

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PHOTW: You don’t know when the last time you bounce your kid on your knee will be. Act accordingly.