I asked ChatGPT what I should right about this week based on our interactions. ChatGPT’s memory feature has gotten better lately and I now like to ask it meta-questions based on what it can infer about me from our interactions. It’s a great sounding board.
How Much of Love Is Logistics?
The Life You Wanted Comes With a Maintenance Schedule
A Good Life Is Mostly Boring Problems
We Have More Ways to Observe Life Than to Live It
Maybe Your Obsessions Aren’t a Character Flaw
I picked #3, but with a twist.
I like most of it’s thesis:
One sign that your life is going well is that your problems become increasingly boring. The more your foundational needs are met, the more boring your problems become.
Directionally correct.
If anyone has ever dealt with a boring problem, which because you are human is all of you, you know that it’s not really the most entertaining. But it’s also not very chaotic, you just handle it.
That’s what you want the majority of the problems in your life to be, non-chaotic.
Is this plant dying?
Did I remember to lock the car?
Who is picking up the dog’s medication?
What temperature do I air fry my Gyoza at?
How do I make the upper floor of my house colder?
But not all of them. And not the biggest ones.
The biggest “problems” in your life should arguably be the most chaotic.
You could have an infinite number of these large problems but the 3 major ones for most people will be their long-term relationship, children and/or their vocation.
I use the word problem and chaotic only in the context that these areas of your life are unsolvable. They are not orderly. You don’t one day solve your marriage or your children. That is exactly what makes them part of a good life.
You want a barbell, mostly boring problems and a few excruciatingly hard unsolvable problems that force you to grow as a person.
A good life minimizes accidental chaos so you can tolerate meaningful chaos.
Here’s a few ways to actually help make most problems more boring:
1) Make defaults.
Every recurring problem should eventually become a habit, a calendar event, an automatic payment or someone’s clearly defined responsibility. Renegotiating the same problems with yourself or other people every week causes chaos.
2) Keep some slack in the system.
Have an emergency fund, leave early, keep your freezer stocked and don’t fill every hour of your calendar. Margin is good in business and life.
3) Subtract.
I love this quote from Elon: “The most common error of a smart engineer is to optimize something that shouldn't exist.”
You are solving problems in your life because they are there to be solved. You can occasionally remove the thing causing the problem from your life entirely without consequence.
Here’s SpaceX putting that exact quote to work to increase the simplicity of rocket engines. If it works in rocket science it probably works in your life too.
4) Set thresholds.
One of the easiest ways to turn boring problems into chaos is to give all of them unlimited access to your attention.
Water in your basement? Pretty immediate threshold being crossed there.
Worrying about that 30 minute meeting at work 6 weeks from now? Probably not as worth it.
Still shaking rust off but it feels good to be back writing a bit.
Words I Wish I Wrote
“What happens when you die:
They divide up your shit. They summarize your life in 500-1000 words. People who knew you less say sorry to people who knew you more. Everyone eats, drives home, and wakes up the next day and goes to work. Whatever you’re worried about won’t be in those 500 words. You can dare greatly or not at all, but you’re gonna die either way. Might as well squeeze every motherfucking drop out.”
Links & Learnings
I almost wrote about seasons today instead. Here’s a good reminder about life.
If you’re going to draw a straight line from your childhood to your flaws, you should trace that same lineage to your strengths. If you can’t let your parents take credit for what’s right with you, maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to make them the villains for what’s wrong. - H/T Chris Williamson
The 3 prompts I put in my journal at night when I remember to write in it.
What was the story of today? This stops your life from blurring together.
What went well today?
What are 5 things I’m grateful for today?
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PHOTW: An actual happy medium between a phone and no phone is an Apple Watch with a cellular connection.
