• DSTLLD
  • Posts
  • 5 New-To-You Concepts (July 2025)

5 New-To-You Concepts (July 2025)

Frames, 4 Stages of Competence and Thermometers.

The Frame Matters More Than The Picture

“If we just think about the Apple Store, every electronic store you've ever walked into in your life is kind of like a crazy jungle of wires, right?

That's how electronic stores always were.

What Apple did differently was they gave the iPhone space in the shop.

So the space that the object has given actually pours into the value of the object itself, because it has two feet either side of it, the frame in which it's presented is telling you that this item in the middle is high value.

The context you've always seen that kind of framing in is an art gallery.

The other thing I think is so critical is they only show you one of each device and they keep the rest in the back room.

If we think about scarcity creating value, the frame in which you present something is doing so much of the work to communicate the value of the thing within it.”

— Steven Bartlett

The Region Beta Paradox

Imagine you have a rule: you always walk whenever you’re traveling a mile or less, and you always drive whenever you’re going more than a mile.

If you follow that rule, you will, paradoxically, travel two miles faster than you travel one mile.

The important insight here is that f you only take action when things cross a certain threshold of badness, sometimes better things can feel worse than worse things.

Look around and you’ll found lots of people stuck in Region Beta: the guy who sticks around his just-okay job instead of ditching it for the chance of something better, the couple who should break up but can’t bring themselves to do it, the friend who refuses to get a new apartment because their current one only has some black mould.

All of these people would actually be better off if their situations were worse, because they’d leave their jobs, partners, and apartments, and be glad they did.

Their only regret would be not leaving sooner.

— Adam Mastorianni

4 Stages of Competence

1. Unconscious Incompetence

At this stage, you're a total novice and don't even know what you don't know. You lack competence and don't have an understanding of your own incompetence.

2. Conscious Incompetence

Here, you've become aware of your own incompetence, but you haven't addressed it yet. You know that there's a gap in your skills that needs to be filled.

3. Conscious Competence

At this stage, you've developed a level of competence at your craft, but it requires conscious effort and focus. You can do it, but it takes work.

4. Unconscious Competence

This is the pinnacle of expertise, where you have extreme competence and can execute without conscious effort. Few people ever reach this stage.

— Sahil Bloom (Matthew Broadwell)

Thermometer People VS Thermostat People

There are two types of people in this world. Thermometer people and thermostat people, and which one you are will make all the difference as far as what kind of experience you have in this life.

What's the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat?

A thermometer tells you the temperature in the room.

A thermostat tells the room the temperature.

There's one kind of person goes through life as a thermometer, however, his environment is treating him, he will react in kind and his emotional state, whether he's happy or not, is gonna be a direct reflection of everything that's coming at him from outside of him.

That's the thermometer.

The thermostat is the one who wakes up and sets his setting on joy and gratitude and emanates that out all around him to the environment around him.

If you're a thermometer, you are doomed to be reactive.

You don't even get to choose whether or not you have a good day.

The way people you don't even know will treat you is going to determine whether or not you had a good day, and you add up good days or bad days and you have either a good life or a bad life, and you were never in control of it, it was just the way that life treated you, completely passive a victim.

Thermostat says, I can have a good life and a good day because I choose that whatever my circumstances may be, I can always be productive, I can always be of service, I can always do something for someone else and thereby have a good day and add that all up a good life.

— Shais Taub

Feynman’s Love Letter

October 17, 1946

D'Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that - but I don't only write it because you like it - I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you - almost two years but I know you'll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead - but I still want to comfort and take care of you - and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together or learn Chinese - or getting a movie projector. Can't I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the "idea-woman" and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn't have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true - you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else - but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don't want to be in my way. I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can't help it, darling, nor can I - I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don't want to remain alone - but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this but I don't know your new address.

Words I Wish I Wrote

“Woe be unto the man whose dreams come true, because he will find out that he had the wrong dreams.”

Arthur Brooks

Psst… DSTLLD has a podcast now, too. I know — like the world needs another podcast, right? But here’s the thing: if you can tolerate my written rambles, you’ll probably find my in-person yammering… well, moderately tolerable. It’s basically me and a guest chatting about the same offbeat stuff you read here, except now you get to hear me stumble over big words in real time. I’m not saying it’s the greatest thing in the universe (trust me, I’ve listened to it), but if you like DSTLLD, there’s a good chance you won’t hate it. Win-win! Subscribe or follow on your favourite podcast platform:

Did you learn something new? If you enjoyed this, you can support DSTLLD by taking a moment to:

  1. ❤️ Like this post to get it in front of more curious people.

  2. 💬 Reply or comment to share your thoughts or ask a follow up question.

  3. 📤 Forward this post to someone who’d benefit from it.

PHOTW: Live closer than you think you should to Grandma and Grandpa.

Reply

or to participate.